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LM: #298: Social lifting
Social interaction is going the way of labor.
We’ve long lived in a post-labor world, where few of us require physical activity to meet our needs.
Over recent decades, we’ve entered a post-social world. Little social interaction is required beyond the perfunctory: “Here’s your coffee,” “Thank you,” “Have a nice day.”
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In a post-labor world, we replace physical activity with intentional exercise. In a post-social world, I submit, we need to replace the social interaction we would normally have with intentional socializing.
Like exercise, we can logically explain ourselves out of social interaction. We don’t have to, we don’t want to, we’re too busy, and we don’t want to risk injury.
We’re lazy creatures, so are good at coming up with reasons not to do what’s uncomfortable. But our laziness works to our detriment. What’s uncomfortable is often good for us, both as individuals and a society.
Think of this forced social interaction as “social lifting.” Take opportunities to have unnecessary, inconvenient, social interactions you don’t even want to have.
I’m just beginning to think about social lifting, and, as someone whose friends routinely compare to Larry David, if there’s anyone who doesn’t want unnecessary social interaction, it’s me.
But I’m going to start thinking about ways to do some social lifting. Examples:
- Pick up a friend at the airport
- Instead of buying an iron/hammer/cup of sugar, borrow one from your neighbor
- Ask the barista you see daily about a piece of jewelry they’re wearing
- Have friends over for dinner and don’t expect a return invitation
- Set up a Calendly link and share widely so old friends can schedule a catch-up call
Social lifting isn’t about making everyday interactions with people you’ll never see again less superficial. That would be great, but is more like social strolling. I’m thinking more about having interactions of consequence with people who are a part of your life either through history or coincidental proximity.
Overall, think of ways to skip the elevator and take the stairs.
Aphorism: “No one can live happily who has regard to himself alone and transforms everything into a question of his own utility.” —Seneca
Cool: Splitwise is a handy app for splitting trip expenses with friends.
Best,
David
P.S. The need for social lifting can be found in 8 harsh truths about dating.
